slips: edited highlights
very much for your submission. Unfortunately,
don�t think it�s quite �right� for our publication.
as open to the �avant garde� as anyone else,
a Giro slip & a cheque for �49.50 made out to British Gas
perhaps taking innovative poetics a little too far!
am extremely happy you have chosen to send me your work,
I very much enjoyed reading it. However, I am sorry to say
our publication is in fact a figment of your imagination,
the editor, though diligent, is a deranged cat. Sincere apologies
you feel that we have misled you in any way.
are grateful for the submission of your sonnet sequence
Pockets. There is much in these poems to recommend them,
I came close to including three of them in our next issue,
on reflection I felt that their casual & vituperative blasphemy,
well as the repeated references to archaic forms of sexual deviance,
not be looked upon at all kindly by our regular readership,
is composed entirely of members of the Poetry Society
the recently bereaved. We wish you all the best in your career.
to trouble you, but I wondered if you could clarify something for us.
third poem in the last batch you sent consisted of the word 'quench'
377 times. Neither myself nor the other twelve members
the Poetry Committee could decide whether this was a typographical error
a 'postmodernist' literary conceit. Perhaps you could enlighten
look forward to hearing from you soon.
refrain from sending work to this publication.
we do not specialise in poetry; secondly,
never include the correct postage; & finally,
least one of your poems has slept with my wife.
would be most appreciative if this did not happen
second time. In anticipation of your co-operation,
Editor, Bottletop Collector's Monthly
letter was appreciated; I read & reply to every one myself.
sorry to say that I can�t let you know the secret whereabouts
my Fortress of Solitude, lest it fall into nefarious clutches.
for your second question: yes I have, but only the once.
trust these answers satisfy your curiosity. Now I must go
continue my fight for truth, justice, & the American way.
am writing in reference to the manuscript for your second collection,
Love in the Boneyard, which our
office received on June 8th of this year.
regret to inform you that we will not be able to publish this
are a number of reasons for this, which are outlined below.
I must take issue with the almost total absence of the lyric 'I'
your work. Was this a deliberate choice? In addition to
wanted to express my concern at the almost obsessive recurrence
helicopters & toads, which blights the collection in its second
have since been dreaming helicopters & toads on a nightly basis.
I have enclosed a leaflet outlining the most popular & effective
express your thoughts & desires in a poem through the use of
& the adoption of a 'Voice'. Do you ever 'workshop' at all?
I am writing to inform you of a change in my material circumstances:
the printed page, alas, is no longer commensurate to my needs,
& I have therefore been forced to expand my operations beyond its
These days I am far more likely to take the form of the moon in
smudged on the blue like the ghost of a fingerprint; or the music made
by hammered metal & breaking glass in a wrecker�s yard beside the
than that of the ode or the sonnet or the villanelle. Please
that this is nothing personal, simply a recognition of the inherent
of the language we�ve been given, & I would be glad to give you the
of a colleague of mine who comes highly recommended, & who
in melancholy epiphanies at sunset. I wish you every success in
all you do.
to your last communication, a baffling yet charming missive
a moth sunning itself on your front door on a brisk day in March,
must remind you of your outstanding debt of £49.50. As your
a final demand, we must stress that if we do not hear back from you
the next four days, we will be forced to take further action.